cosmo sex tip 434
when he’s on his back, lay on his chest so that your body is slightly perpendicular to his
THEN HOOK HIS LEG AND PIN HIM FOR THE THREE-COUNT TO BECOME THE NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
This joke is lethal
why the fuck cant i have a best friend who lives 30 seconds away from me who always comes over and we just stay at each others houses whenever movies are so deceiving
Egypt, China, Russia and Iran’s governments have now all criticized the USA over the human rights being broken in Ferguson.
What a fucking embarrassment.
im like pre stress stressed like im stressed about the stress that i will b stressed about 4 school……………..education is magical
10 years ago today, filming began on a brand new series of Doctor Who, starring Christopher Eccleston as the Ninth Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler!
can I passively aggressively point out the way the shot is set up to make both of them equal including cancelling out the height difference and you really couldn’t tell who was meant to be the main character by looking at this photo? (Because of course they’re both the main character and of equal importance rose tyler Ninth doctor (via pygmy-of-triviality)
Thank god now we have this!
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice: